Firestar & Tigerstar Talk Show!
by Midnightstar101
Summary: Firestar & Tigerstar decide that they make a great pair when it comes to talking about hot topics. What will they talk about? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N- So yeah this is one of my first Fanfic stories, all of mine are gonna be about warriors, so enjoy! Reviews are great!

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Welcome to:

Tigerstar & Firestar Talk show!

With Firestar as the host and Tigerstar as the, uh, other host!

Date: December 31st, 2009!

*Applause *

Tigerstar- Welcome to our Talk show!

Firestar- Our topic today is-

Tigerstar- Uhh, I believe I'M supposed to be saying that, Firestar!

Firestar- Well, Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes-Imma- Better-Leader-Than-You, I believe you are incorrect.

Tigerstar- Fine.

Firestar- Good.

Tigerstar- Okay.

Firestar- Great.

Tigerstar- Awesome.

*Pause *

Tigerstar- So anyway, our topic today is-

Firestar- Hey TigerPAW, how 'bout we change up the topic today?

Tigerstar- What are you talking about?

Firestar- Why don't we make it about how CERTAIN leaders think they are so much better than other leaders, UNLIKE SOME!

Tigerstar- Well, FireKIT, I believe that topic suits you VERY nicely.

Firestar- Burn in hell!

Tigerstar- Don't make me get my chainsaw on you!

Firestar- Oh, Plu-LEASE, nobody is scared of that thing. All it does is make a scary noise.

Tigerstar- Fine.

Firestar- Good.

Tigerstar- Okay.

Firestar- Great.

Tigerstar- Awesome.

*Pause *

Tigerstar- You know, the topic today was supposed to be about how enemy's become friends, and I just thought that-that-that *bursts out crying *

WAAAAAAAAAAAAa!!!! I wanna be friends with you Firestar! I'm tired of being enemies! We have known each other for a long time now, and all we've accomplished is killing Bluestar! I've always secretly admired you! When you were licking yourself, oh how that got my horses running! What do you say, friends?

Firestar- No.

Tigerstar- Fine.

Firestar- Good.

Tigerstar- Okay.

Firestar- Great.

Tigerstar- Awesome.

*Pause *

Firestar- Stay tuned in for our next show! Will Tigerstar finally come out of the closet? Will I admit to being desperate? Find out and thanks for watching!

*Applause *

Curtains close.

All of a sudden the audience hears a smooching noise, then a loud BANG. What the hell happened?

Tigerstar pops his head out.

Tigerstar- Uhh, technical difficulties….

Firestar- Tigerstar, get your fat little ass back in here! I'm not done with you!

Tigerstar- Is there such thing as cat butt rape?

Random person- HAHA COWBOY BUTT SEX WATCH FAMILY GUY YOU SICK BAS****!!!!!!

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_A/N- So how was it? I need more ideas and stuff so please add that in your review! What should the next topic be about? It all depends on you DUH-DUH-DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN_

_I'll make it longer next chapter, and I'll need at least 10 reviews, maybe less, it depends on how ya'll like it. _

_Gracias for reading!_


	2. Jan 1st

Welcome back to:

Firestar & Tigerstar's Talkshow!

Today's Topic: Skinny jeans!

Special Guest: Sasha!

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Tigerstar- Okay, welcome back, our topic today is:

Firestar- Skinny jeans! And how they make me look hawt!

Tigerstar- Yes they do, I mean, they show your curves, I mean, they make your ass look big, I mean…

Firestar- Oh yeah that's right your supposed to "come out of the closet" today.

*Pause *

Firestar- Well…go ahead…

Tigerstar- No I refuse!

CRASH!!!!

Firestar- Whoa what was that?

Tigerstar- * whispers * I love you.

Firestar- What!?

Tigerclaw- Olive juice!

Firestar- Huh? No I don't think that's what you said….

Tigerstar- You're right. What I really said was: I love Jews!

Firestar- Nice cover.

Tigerstar- Thanks.

*Awkward silence *

Tigerstar- I believe a gay baby was just born.

*Pause *

Firestar- How about we bring up our special guest?

*Applause *

Firestar- Let's have a warm welcome to: Sasha! Tigerstar's EX!

Tigerstar- Your just here to torture me aren't you?

*Sasha sits down on the chair next to Tigerstar *

Tigerstar- Holy shit. *Hides face *

Sasha- Why, hello, Tigerstar *she says coolly *

Tigerstar- Hello.

Random person- BONER ALERT!

Tigerstar- shut up! *Hides boner *

Firestar- So, Sasha, how are you doing?

Sasha- Fine.

Firestar- Well, its was nice having you here!

Sasha- Okay bye!

*Applause *

Tigerstar is shocked.

Tigerstar- That's it?

Firestar- Well, yes.

Tigerstar- What's the point in having guests when all we do is say hi and then they leave?

Firestar- I dunno. What else can we say?

Tigerstar- I don't know. I have to go.

Runs off.

Firestar- Well, he's probably jacking off somewhere so I shall go screw Sasha!

Sandstorm- Why won't you screw me anymore?

Firestar- Stupid naked mole rat.

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	3. March

Welcome back to Firestar and Tigerstar Talk show!!

Today's Topic: Confession!

Special Guest: Sandstorm! And Blackstar (boo)

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*Applause*

Tigerstar- This is a special show today!! Confessions! Starring Firestar's lover, I mean mate: Sandstorm!

Firestar- Oh I see how it is Tigerstar, I bring your ex lover and now you bring mine. Don't worry, I shall not forget.

Sandstorm- What do you mean, EX lover?

Firestar- I love you

Sandstorm- Exactly.

Tigerstar- So Sandstorm, share some of your confessions.

Sandstorm- Well, I really didn't want to publicly come out with this, but: I had gay butt sex with Cloudtail

*Silence*

*Applause*

Firestar- What!? And you didn't invite ME!!!!!

Sandstorm- Well, you didn't ask.

Tigerstar- Today we also have starring Blackstar, leader of Shadowclan.

*Boos*'

Blackstar- I am a terrorists! I KILL YOU!!!

Firestar- Wow I didn't know you were British.

Blackstar- Yes well I am. Erin Hunter refuses to seek that bit of info.

Tigerstar- Let me just say, I adore you.

Firestar- *whispers to Blackstar* He's going to make a move on you…

Tigerstar- Say, what's your number?

Blackstar- 713-478-UR –NOT-GETTING-ANY-OF-THIS

*Laughter*

Sandstorm- *flirty voice* So what's your confession, Blackstar?

Firestar- Oh I see how it is, give HIM the attention, well I'll have you know…..I forgot what I was going to say.

Blackstar- Well, I have two. First, I was there when Sandstorm and Cloudtail had gay butt sex., and I might have been part of the fun…..

Firestar- Oh YOU BITCH!!!! *starts tackling*

Sandstorm-Firestar, NO! Get your hands off my man!

GASP!!!!

Firestar- What do you mean, your man?

Sandstorm- Well, after being part of it, me and Blackstar….you know….

Firestar- GAHHHH

Suddenly that Jamaican guy came on stage and started singing:

Every little thing, is gonna be alright

Sandstorm- Also, I have another confession. I'm pregnant.

GASP!!!

Sandstorm- And another one. I already had them.

GASPPPPPPPPP

Sandstorm- And one more. One of them grew up to be an accountant.

NO

Tigerstar- How rude, nobody asks me about MY confession. *starts crying*

Blackstar- It must be that time of month….

*Laughter*

Sandstorm- God, Blackstar, you are so funny.

Firestar- What was your other confession, Blackstar?

Blackstar- I'm emo.

Tigerstar- Duh. Here's mine: Remember last Christmas? Well you guys thought that Santa claws was Brambleclaw, it was actually me. That's why one of the kits ended up dead.

~In Prison~

Brambleclaw- YOU SON OF A BISCIUT-EATER!!! IM IN PRISON CUZ OF YOU!!!!

Tigerstar- Well, I should end this on a good note. So heres my favorite saying:

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

*silence*


	4. June

Welcome back to Tigerstar & Firestar Talk Show!

June (?)

Today's Topic: Bright Lights!

Special Guest: Brightheart & Cloudtail!

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Tigerstar- Everybody welcome back!

* Applause *

Firestar- I need to say something real quick.

* Silence, waiting for him to speak *

Firestar- Oh, you meant right now? Oh ok then…let me just clear up my tight little throat here * hacks up a marshmallow *

Tigerstar- Yummy! * Jumps out of chair and flies toward the marshmallow *

Cloudtail- No! I want the marshmallow!

Brightheart- No! It shall be mine!

Everybody watches as the three cats ravenge each other for the marshmallow.

Tigerstar- Ah- Ha! *Swallows in just one gulp * Yummy for my tummy!

Brightheart & Cloudtail glare at him.

All of a sudden he chokes on the marshmallow.

And hacks it right back up.

Along with a meatball.

Firestar jumps after the meatball, however Cloudtail has already gotten to it (meanwhile Brightheart swallows marshmallow)

Firestar- Oh please Cloudtail! Can I have it?

Cloudtail- No

Firestar- We can split it up in two-halves!

Cloudtail- Maybe….

Suddenly Brightheart (finished with the marshmallow) jumps in between the two and gulps it down.

Brightheart- Ha! Victory is mine…* starts choking *

Hacks up marshmallow, meatball, and….

Tigerstar?

Tigerstar- Sorry, just curious to how it looked in there. Just checking up on you * pats belly * Its all good in there…

Firestar- What's going to happen to all of the food now?

All stare hungrily at the meatball and the marshmallow.

Firestar- Lets make them get married!

* Have a wedding *

Brightheart- I now pronounce you meatball & marshmallow.

Then a bird comes in and takes them away.

Tigerstar- Aww man, now that bird is going to eat the newly-weds!

Cloudtail- Maybe he's just taking them on their honeymoon?

They shrug.

Firestar- So anyways, back to the show.

Tigerstar- So, how do you guys feel about bright lights?

Cloudtail- they make us horny.

Brightheart- they make YOU horny.

Cloudtail- that is correct. * hides boner*

Tigerstar- Why do you have a boner?

Cloudtail points to the bright lights above.

Cloudtail- No duh, you smartass.

* Audience laughs *

Firestar- See ya next time!

Curtains close.

You hear a voice shouting- Oh my goth there goes the meatball!

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Enjoy much?

REVIEW

Btw I just ate a marshmallow…

Just thought you should know….


	5. August FRIDAY 13TH!

Welcome back to Firestar & Tigerstar Talkshow!

Date: August, FRIDAY 13TH!

Topic: Past Pets

Guests: Princess

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Firestar- Welcome back to our talk show!

Tigerstar- Lets make sure to have plenty of tissue boxes for this one!

Firestar- Why is that, Tigerstar?

Tigerstar- 'Cuz I like to make origami with them.

Firestar-?

Tigerstar- Don't ask. It was a part of my therapy.

Firestar- Therapy?

Tigerstar- Yuppers. I was abused as a kit. So I was forced to take Therapy.

Firestar- No surprise there.

Tigerstar- Your not even gonna ask why! How rude!

Firestar- Ok, then.

Tigerstar- Yes…

Firestar- WHY!

Tigerstar- " Cuz I got abused…. DUH

Firestar- Speaking of abused…. * starts crying *

Tigerstar- What's wrong?

Firestar- I once abused my pet snail, The Situation. He passed away shortly after.

Tigerstar- You named him The Situation? You mean, after…Jersey Shore!

Firestar- Yes! Me in love with that show!

Tigerstar- No way! Me too! I named my old pet rock Pauly D.

Firestar- Get out! Seriously? I'm, like, in love with you right now!

Tigerstar- Oh my gothness! Finally!

Firestar- Not literally.

Tigerstar- Oh. Anyway how did your pet nail die?

Firestar- You mean, pet Snail?

Tigerstar- Same thing.

Firestar- I thought it would be funny to tie him up to a firecracker and let it go and he got exploded and then the next day I found some of his remains. So after I, uh, had "relations" with the remains, I simply collected them all and tried to bring him back to life. But that only resulted in getting Sandstorm pregnant.

Tigerstar- 0_0

Firestar- But that's a whole different story.

Tigerstar- 0_0

Firestar- And your pet cock?

Tigerstar- Pet rock, you mean?

Firestar- Same thing.

Tigerstar- Agreed. Well, I lost him.

Firestar- No important entertaining details?

Tigerstar- Nope.

Firestar- Cool.

Tigerstar- Yup.

Firestar- Whatever.

All of a sudden Princess clears her throat.

Tigerstar- Oh ya, we forgot to announce we have a special guest, Firestar's sister Princess!

*Applause *

Princess- I've been waiting forever!

Firestar- Well, while we are at it, have you ever had a pet before?

Princess- Define "pet". Would that intrude as the same term "slave"?

Firestar- Um, no.

Princess- Well then, no.

Firestar- Ever?

Princess- Well, lets see. I've had imaginary friends, sex slaves, sex toys, sex….

Firestar- But no pets?

Princess- Yes! This one pet cock I used to have.

Firestar- You mean, rock?

Princess- Same thing.

Tigerstar- Oh my gothness! Does he respond by the name, Pauly D?

Princess- Um, sure.

Tigerstar-!

Firestar- See ya later, Tigerstar's getting that lustful look in his eyes!

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End file.
